I have exciting news. Well, maybe exciting news. It depends on how on how you look at it. I have my first real audition ever coming up for PICT (Pittsburgh Irish and Classical Theatre). It will be on October 6 at 2:00 pm EST.  I have thirty minutes to sell myself. I need to memorize two contrasting monologues. And I am scared out of my mind.

I’ve auditioned tons of times but not for real acting jobs. Just community theatre, college theatre, high school theatre, that sort of thing. This is a big difference.

This time I will be going up against people who have received loads more training than I have and had a lot more experience. I’ve got to start studying now as I have only 18 days to prepare.

Excuse me, I have to go vomit.

It’s amazing how a good night’s sleep can change your perspective on things.

Granted, I still can’t manage to get my butt out of bed at 6 (more like 8 or 8:30) but that’s neither here nor there.  But when you aren’t waking up constantly through the night, or the mattress isn’t falling through the slats of your IKEA platform bed, it makes it a lot nicer to sleep and to wake up in the morning. It also make me an easier person to deal with

My dogs love me. One reason they love me is because I feed them.  I am the “can opener”, the “kibble scooper”, the “bag tearer opener”.  To them I rock.  I rock the most when I come home with bags of groceries. I am sure to have a some little treat to give them when I return with food because that’s what their lupine instincts expect.

I know when they see me walk into the house, laden with piles of food, their furry little hearts burst with joy and they think. “Hot damn she rocks! She is the most amazing and efficient hunter in the whole universe! I can’t even get a squirrel at the park!  How does she do it? I wish I knew how.”  But I do know that if I took my fur babies with me to the grocery store, it would be a sad shock to their pleasant thoughts.  Their accolades would be dampened when they saw me simply pull the bacon and t-bone steaks straight off the shelves without even breaking a sweat.  There would be no thrill, no kill, nothing.  And the only high pitched “death screams” would be the babies in the buggies or the deft “beep, beep” of the checkers.  Oh how the mighty will fall.

And that folks, is the real reason we don’t let dogs into grocery stores.

I am sure you have all seen the random shoe or sock on the side of the road or on the sidewalk. We see this common item and wonder, “How do you lose one shoe/sock?”,  “What happened to it’s mate?” or even “Some poor soul lost a shoe/sock.”

But this morning I didn’t see a shoe or a sock. No, I saw pieces of someone’s hair weave abandoned on the sidewalk.  Still partially braided, matted and tangled it lay prostrate on the sidewalk.

The common shoe or sock scenario thoughts didn’t run through my head. Here was a chunk of hair, not a small one mind you, smack dab in the middle of the sidewalk. All I could think was “How the hell did this get there?”, “I hope it was discarded on purpose by the wearer” and “God, that had to hurt”.

I just had the overwhelming feeling that it shouldn’t be there. My brisk morning walk to get the paper was interrupted by a hairy interloper.  People shouldn’t be leaving their discarded hair anywhere! It just shouldn’t be!

 

The husband unit and I are so excited. We took the dogs for walkies this evening and went to the off leash dog park right by us. Tricksy is still learning to come back to us (and ignore the squirrels) but Mocha did us proud. Not only does she come back straight away when called but our nasty little bitch played nice with another dog named Dotty. She ran and played and didn’t get pissy once. She was also nice and didn’t start a smack down with the little dog that took a nip at her. Good dog Mocha!

As luck would have it I am able to take some time off of my “real” job and try and start doing the things I have dreamed of doing since I was a kid.  Acting being the main pursuit.

Since I was about 8 years old I have wanted to be an actress. Now, I don’t have to be a world famous, award winning actress. That would be nice but I would be happy having acting gigs that pay the bills and let me go on nice holidays.  Not expensive holidays, nice ones are fine.  So I am searching now for a new agent. I left behind mine in NM and they don’t cast outside of the state.

I am also working on getting my children’s book published, writing my other ones and possibly starting another at home business.  The problem is just getting myself out of bed in the morning and getting a schedule.

I think I need to work on really planning out my day. And since I am my own boss I need to motivate my own ass. After all, I actually have a limited time to give this all a go before I have to return to the “real” work place (if I shouldn’t succeed. Failure is not an option).

It’s true what they say about being your own boss. It’s tough work.

This is a time of year that has a lot of memory for me for lots of reasons. In September of 2001 I, along with the rest of the world stood the shock of the 9/11 attacks. Then, a year later, on September 12, 2002, my father passed away. Losing his brave battle with cancer. He is still missed and will always be. It’s five years ago today that I lost the first man in my life and nothing has ever been the same since. The good and the bad that has happened since then is drastically different and always will be. I’ve learned the hard way that time doesn’t heal all wounds but instead it just makes them easier to live with. Like a wounded animal we lick our wounds and limp on.

Then I have one special memory from this time of year. A year ago on this day I had my second performance of “The Guys” where I was able to work with the wonderful Leigh. Being able to do that play with him, even while he and I were both going through our own personal trials, is a shining memory among the otherwise gray ones.

I know this post isn’t as upbeat and entertaining as my other ones, but that’s how we live isn’t it?

But today is a day I look back and in memory think of my father.

I left Hobbs, a desert and it rains. And rains, and rains, and rains.  I can’t believe how much rain I have heard they are getting.  Finally we are getting some here. It was nice to have a steady down pour this morning. I’m ready for more. People keep telling me I’ll get sick and tired of the rain here. I wonder if I will. I honestly don’t think so. After nearly two decades of no real rain, this is like a blessing. Maybe I should move to Scotland?

Watching the husband unit sleeping on the sofa chair. It’s sweet watching him. I wish he had a bit more space and have an overwhelming desire to go and carry him upstairs. However, reality hits with this thought and I know I would cause serious injury to myself (possible pulled out back) and him (possible head injury from fall) if I should try to do such a thing.  So I’ll just enjoy this precious moment and watch him snooze in a cramped chair. Awwwwww…

I was out and about today for the house tour in my area. While I was visiting other people’s homes and looking at their things and internally critiquing their lives, I saw a woman with the ugliest baby there ever was. It truly was a face only a mother could love, or at least I think she did by the way she was holding him (I think it was a a him, it was hard to tell). But I thought that shouldn’t be. There are certain things in the world that need to be, well, a certain way. And babies shouldn’t be as ugly as a baboons butt. I’m going to have to keep an eye out for other things that shouldn’t be. And you should too.